Active and Constructive Responding
27 June 2011 in Books/Articles review, Musings. Write by Paolo Terni
In his latest book, Flourish, Martin Seligman introduces very few tools to improve well-being – most of the book is a very interesting and opinionated summary of the current status of Positive Psychology.
One of the few tools presented is called: “Active, Constructive Responding” – and it is yet another piece of evidence that Positive Psychologists are “re-inventing” well-established Solution-Focused practices.
Here I quote Seligman: ” Strangely, marriage counseling usually consists of teaching partners to fight better. This may turn an insufferable relationship into a barely tolerable one… How we respond can either build the relationship of undermine it. There are four basic ways of responding, only one of which builds relationships” – and then he proceeds by providing two examples of the four styles.
I will only use the first of his examples, and I will highlight questions that come straight from SF practice:
Example – your partner says: I received a promotion and a raise at work!
Active and Constructive Response: “That is great! I am so proud of you. I know how important that promotion was to you! Please relive the event with me now. Where were you when your boss told you? What did he say? How did you react? We should go out and celebrate!” Nonverbal: maintaining eye contact, displaying positive emotions
Passive and Constructive Response: “That is good news. You deserve it.” Nonverbal: little or no active emotional expression.
Active and Destructive Response: “That sounds like a lot of responsibility to take on. Are you going to spend fewer nights at home now?” Nonverbal: display of negative emotions.
Passive and Destructive: “What’s for dinner?” Nonverbal: little to no eye contact, leaving
[Note: Seligman credits Shelly Gable, Professor of Psychology at UC Santa Barbara, for demonstrating that how you celebrate is more predictive of strong relations than how you fight].
So… SF practitioners out there… do the highlighted questions ring a bell? ;)
I think we would be a little bit more natural in building an “Active & Constructive Response” to what Clients bring: Wow, I am so impressed!! How did you manage to get it? When did this happen? What did your boss say? And what did you say? Were there other people there? What did they say?…
Distinctions: SF and Positive Psychology
15 June 2009 in Musings. Write by Paolo TerniRecently, I participated in some online conversations about SF and how it is perceived.
I agree with Kirsten Dierolf and with Coert Visser that there is some confusion about what Solution-Focus is. As Bion would say, the term has become so saturated with meaning to be of increasingly little use as a descriptive term.
Much of the confusion surrounding SF practice seems to stem from a single word that is often used to (mis)characterize SF: “positive“.
I decided to make a few distinctions that I will be posting in the next few days to help us get untangled from this trap that our language has set for us.
Distinction #1: Solution-Focus and Positive Psychology.
Positive Psychology is an umbrella term created by Martin Seligman in 1998. It puts together different strands of research that focus on “how to make life more fulfilling”, not simply treating mental illness. The term Positive Psychology was meant to “make a self-conscious argument that what makes life worth living deserves its own field of inquiry within Psychology”. (Peterson C., A Primer in Positive Psychology, 2006, Oxford University Press, p.6).
“Positive Pyschology calls for as much focus on strength as on weakness, as much interest in building the best things in life as in repairing the worst, and as much attention to fulfilling the lives of healthy people as to healing the wounds of the distressed”. (Peterson C., A Primer in Positive Psychology, 2006, Oxford University Press, p.5). It is a “science that strives to promote flourishinng and fulfillment at each of the individual, group and social levels. A science that studies what makes life worth living.” (“Positive Psychology in Practice, edited by Linley and Joseph, 2004, preface). It is not just happiology then, and it is a science (vs. humanistic psychology).
Therefore:
IF therapy is about treatment and about helping people function in society (Using a sports metaphor, a therapist makes sure that an injured athlete recovers to compete again, via an effective rehab program)
AND
IF coaching is about helping people function well in society, if it is about living better and about performing better (Using a sports metaphor, a coach makes sure that the athlete performs at his or her best, via an effective training program or effective motivational strategies)
THEN it stands to reason that:
- therapy, SF or otherwise, does NOT need to find connections with Positive Psychology. It might, but it does not have to. Therapy is about treating mental illness. Therapy is rooted in traditional Psychology. Therapy, how to treat mental illness, was the engine that drove traditional Psychology.
- coaching, however, SF or otherwise, does need to find common ground with Positive Psychology: the work done in the field of Positive Psychology should inform coaching practices, and empirically tested coaching protocols should inform the research in Positive Psychology.
Of course to explore connections between Solution-Focus and Positive Psychology we need to evaluate specific SF techniques or protocols vis-à-vis specific research results or theories that fall under the category of Positive Psychology.
That is being done very effectively by many members of the SF community, e.g.:
Carey Glass just wrote an article about the connections between specific Solution-Focused techniques and Fredrickson’s broaden-and-build theory (one of the main theories in Positive Psychology): Exploring What Works: Is SF the best way of harnessing the impact of positive psychology in the workplace?
Michael Hjerth, who has long been discussing and promoting the links between SF practice and Fredrickson’s broaden-and-build theory within the Solution-Focus community.
Coert Visser, who has been connecting dots between specific research results in Positive Psychology and SF practices; for example, in examining what scientific ground we have to justify creating positive expectations in our clients.
Mark McKergow, who has been exploring connections between SF and other fields related to Positive Psychology, such as Appreciative Inquiry.
Solutions-Focused practices and Positive Psychology
13 June 2009 in Musings. Write by Paolo TerniI enjoyed reading the Journal InterAction, the new “Journal of Solution-Focus in organizations”.
Each article featured in its first issue was a treasure throve of insights.
I wrote a comment on the paper by Carey Glass: Exploring What Works: Is SF the best way of harnessing the impact of positive psychology in the workplace?
Here is an excerpt from my comment:
The connection between emotions and repertoire of actions, as the author points out, “may provide an explanation for some forms of “stuckness”.
Of course! Clients shift from a system (a constellation of emotion – thoughts – behaviors) primed to a specific action to another system, where they can play around and get unstuck… it is their inner game, literally.
Moreover, the article very brilliantly gave me an answer re another question I had: I am “re-discovering” the power of letting clients dwell in their “preferred future”; so, is my practice just a “feel good” trick?
No, SF is a way to “broaden” clients’ perceptions. Feeling good follows, once clients get “unstuck” and are able to access their memory of the (successful) past experiences and of the (preferred) future.
SF is a respectful way to elicit positive emotions (vs. “positive thinking”): in SF we invite clients to explore the whole situation with a lot of details, therefore noticing the positive, while in “positive thinking” the practitioner rams the positive he or she sees into the throat of the client.
Another point that really resonated with me was about the transfer of some SF practices in organizations: Carey is right, sometimes we are shy (or at least I am) about asking the miracle question in organizational settings. I get intimated myself by the business suits and the million-euros budgets. I feel the need to be “practical”. But that can be a mistake. Now I have some form of evidence that I should stick to things that work, like the miracle question. And actually, in the executive coaching session that most made me happy recently, I did go SF all the way, miracle question included, and it worked: the client wanted to at least get a handle of one big problem (and it would take many sesisons, he thought, to work on that). In a little over an hour, he “solved” that and two lesser problems, on top of it!
Download the article by Carey Glass here.
Read my whole comment here.
New programs!! (1)
21 January 2009 in News. Write by Paolo Terni
New Year, new programs for my clients!
The Increase Your Life-Satisfaction Program. Be happier! Yes you can!
This coaching program is designed around the most recent breakthroughs in Positive Psychology. Its easy-to-use, step-by-step format reflects the experience I gained in years of coaching people re Quality of Life issue.
You will have a unique opportunity to use the Oxford Happiness Questionnaire to measure your “happiness level”. You will learn how a good part of your happiness level is determined by what you do (vs. who you are or what your circumstances are).
You will discover which of the 15 activities that bring happiness is best for you. You will be coached on how to practice those activities and weave them in your life. Lat but not least, you will be happy :) to discover the positive impact of our work together by taking the Oxford Happiness Questionnaire again.
Given the hard times, isn’t it time to focus on what is under our control that can make us happier rather than relying on external factors like wealth???
Do not miss the opportunity to live a more fulfilling life!
Contact me to learn how this program can fit your needs.
PS: I want to introduce you to the program personally. So be patient if I do not reply right away: I am busy giving my full attention to my clients, and that is what you will be enjoying soon!!
WHAT'S IN A NAME?
A friend of mine asked me why I chose the name briefcoachingsolutions for my website.
Easy: it is the shortest description for what I do.
Solutions: that is what my clients arrive at: solutions. For their goals, their needs, their problems. They arrive at better solutions. Faster. With less effort. Solutions sustainable in the long run because they are based on what is already working in the clients' situations
it is also the description of my approach: solution-focused.
Coaching: that is the tool I use to help clients...
Read more
