When I meet prospective clients, I can see there are still many misconceptions in the business world about what coaching is and what coaching can do for you.

Some of these misconceptions are due to lack of information, or information that is not correct: for example, the incorrect idea that the coach is a therapist, or the incorrect assumption that the coach is the expert in the clients’ field who is there to tell them what to do.

Some of these misconceptions have a cultural flavor: for example, here in Italy there is still  an underlying machismo which permeates the business community. The high-powered executive is supposed to do everything on his own, with no help or support from – invariably this is how they call us executive coaches – “a shrink”. Any sort of professional help is seen as a sign of weakness.

Some of these misconceptions have their roots in human nature. For example, it is very common to see prospective clients falling into the trap of all-or-nothing thinking, more specifically bouncing along the ominipotence – impotence continuum: the clients can either do everything and anything on their own, or they can do nothing at all on their own; the coach is either the one who knows everything and can make their life perfect or he / she is somebody who can not understand a thing about how the world (or the company, or real life, or business) works and therefore he / she is useless.

I would like to address a variant of this all-or-nothing thinking.

More specifically: you did a good job as a coach NOT when clients have solved ALL their problems and feel they have NO problems to solve, but when clients feel ready, willing and capable to tackle the issues they are paid to deal with, and feel they are making progress in handling them day in and day out.

This distinction was brought home to me recently by a client of mine, MS.

He is the Head of Personnel and of Administration of a large import-export company. He also sits in the Board of Directors, since it is a family business and he is a member of the family.

It is amazing the ground he covered within a few coaching sessions.

When we started our coaching relationship, his complaints where the concerns a typical middle manager would voice – how can I deal with employee X? how can I organize my activity by projects? How can I avoid spending too much time micro-managing basic operational problems like proper invoice registration? How can I shift from doing things myself to actually managing my department?
There was no thought, no space for issues like: strategically leading his company; re-organizing his department to better support the company’s key strategic objectives; organizing operations in a European country where they recently established a presence; leading his department (vs. managing).
After four coaching sessions, the items listed above were exactly what MS was starting to focus on.

At the end of our coaching relationship, as we were wrapping it up, he made a comment to this effect: “problems never end; but at least now I am dealing with the right set of problems, problems that have a wide organizational and strategic impact for the company. Now I feel I am in the position of making a difference. Now I feel willing and able to make a difference!”

Congratulations, MS!

* note: some details have been changed to protect the privacy of my client; even so, I have permission from the client to share the outline of his story.

Tags: all-or-nothing thinking, executive coaching, gradual progress, misconceptions, MS, Solution-Focused coaching