Yours Truly witnessing the Quiet Strength of the Pacific Ocean

Some insights come from serendipitous occurrences.

Like this one I just had: that “Solution-Focus” has the quality of Quiet Strength.

This insight was triggered by three unrelated events:

- via @dChickadee4Life, stumbling upon this blog post: Three Keys to Mindful Leadership Coaching. The three keys mentioned by Douglas Riddle are: an open mind; non reactivity; permissive attention. These are all characteristics of  the “Not-Knowing” Stance which is one of the distinctive features of Solution – Focus. One particular sentence by Douglas Riddle resonated deeply in me: How does a coach do that? By creating in the conversation with the coachee a sense of open, reflective exploration. The coaches who expand my mind, emotions and performance come to the coaching relationship from a place of inner calm. They have quiet minds. They are not beguiled by fancy techniques or elegant coaching models.

- reading the book: Quiet. The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain. I had a profound sense of recognition while reading it. I made peace with my style of coaching – I am definitely not a Tony Robbins. I do not talk much. I do not raise my voice. I am not “in your face” and I definitely do not pump my fists in the air!  I like to create space for reflection. Gently but purposefully. There is strength in quiet and deliberate effort.

- having to confront  the same misunderstanding about Solution-Focus three times in the past week. I discovered, in 3 separate conversations with fellow Executive Coaches, that “Solution-Focus” is understood as task-focused. One Coach characterized “being too solution-focused” as going straight to the solution and prescribing a task as opposed to patiently listening to the Client first. I was taken aback – because this is the opposite of what “Solution-Focus” is! But, alas, that is what those words evoke, apparently. So I had to articulate what “Solution-Focus’ is.

These 3 separate events listed above made me realize that Solution-Focus is Quiet Strength.

Quiet strength in the “Not-Knowing” stance and curiosity of the Solution-Focused practitioners; in our  faith that Clients have already experienced bits and pieces of the solution.

Quiet strength in not adding anything to what Clients bring, yet keeping them accountable. Leading from behind, gently but steadfastly, in the interaction.

Quiet strength in being a witness to the Clients’ strengths – and honoring those strengths with our compliments.

Quiet Strength.

I think I like that.

Tags: being with the client, coaching, creating space, deliberate practice, executive coaching, Introvert, leadership, listening, mindfulness, misunderstanding, not-knowing stance, Quiet, quiet strength, reflection, Solution-Focused coaching, strength, Tony Robbins

Illustration courtesy of Nini Baseema (http://oneselfportraitaday.tumblr.com/)

Browsing a leadership bestseller this past weekend, in the table of contents I noticed this chapter: “Chapter Nine: A Leader’s Impact: The Transfer of Influence from Leader to Follower“.

For me, that sentence alone captures all that is wrong with the mainstream approach to leadership.

I take issue with that statement and with its underlying assumptions:

a) it is the title of chapter 9, with the book presenting leading as a linear process. There is part 1, about “earning the right to lead through character“; then part 2, where you are “leading on the field“; and finally part 3, to which chapter 9 belongs. The title for part 3 is: “consequence: creating a culture, leaving a legacy of values“. But this not how it happens in real life. All those factors are at play at the same time

b) the sentence “the transfer of influence from leader to follower” assumes the following:
- in the linear sequence presented in the book, the leader leads, then when the situation is under control he or she can relax and let the “follower”  partake of a little bit of power to help create a “culture” (which celebrates the legacy of the leader!). But the situation may never get under control. Furthermore, a culture is created by collective habits of interaction, not by a “transfer of influence”
- the “leader” has something called “influence”, a thing; he has that because of his or her character; the leader can transfer that “something” to “followers”. Wrong, wrong, wrong. “Influence” is not a thing. Influence is a dance where all the parties involved co-construct meaning and negotiate agreements. The “follower” has as much of an active role as the “leader”. Influence is mutual*
- there is someone who is a “leader” and someone who is a “follower”. Wrong. There is an ongoing relationship. If we take a snapshot at some point in time, we can see someone take on more of a leadership function and someone else accepting that. At a different point in time it might be viceversa. Or anything in between. “Leader” and “follower” may be used to characterize the relationship at some specific time, not to label the people involved.

I am not denying the fact there is a leadership function.
I am challenging the “static” and “linear” view of it.
I am introducing a more science-based view of the leadership function which is rooted in complexity, co-construction, inter-action. the in-between.

——————

* too many times I saw the following dynamic happen – leader calls for a meeting to “sell” his / her brilliant idea. “Followers” very convincingly object to the leader’s idea but also contribute some new interesting ideas to solve the issue at hand. Leader abandons his / her original idea – only to call a new meeting shortly afterwards to “sell” a new idea which happens to be the “followers’” idea, maybe slightly repackaged. “Followers” obviously buy it, since it was proposed by them, leader is happy to have “influenced” them. And all this without the leader being aware of whose idea it was. Who is influencing whom? – note: you can see dynamics of co-influencing happen in shorter time-frames, within a single brief conversation…

Tags: assumptions, business, co-construction, complexity, follower, in-between, influence, leader, leadership, leading, linear, myth

In the picture: Jack leading the survivors of Oceanic flight 815 in the TV Show Lost

Clients often attend my workshops on leadership because they want to learn how to “become effective leaders”.
But what makes a leader effective?

A good answer to that question is the leadership style known as “transformational leadership“.

“The organizational effectiveness of transformational leadership is not in question. Studies routinely demonstrate its effectiveness in diverse situations, ranging from profit-oriented organizations, trade unions, young workers, sports team, educational contexts, self-managed teams, to military organization” – Sivanathan N., Arnold K.A., Turner N., Barling J. in Leading Well: Transformational Leadership and Well-Being.

According to the Transformational Leadership line of research and intervention, an effective leader needs to act in a way that exerts:

- Idealized Influence: when leaders choose to do what is right rather than what is expedient
- Inspirational Motivation: when leaders inspire their followers to be their very best and to perform at a new level
- Intellectual Stimulation: when leaders challenge their followers to think for themselves
- Individualized Consideration: when leaders show concern for their followers, by listening, caring, empathizing and being compassionate.

Transformational Leadership is what I teach in my Leadership Programs and how to enact those 4 types of behaviors is what my clients learn in the workshop I lead.

Tags: leadership, training, transformational leadership